deconstruction of a faith can be one of the loneliest experiences we walk through. not only does it involve letting go of the framework that once provided a sense of security + stability - but it involves the painful process of leaving relationships. it might mean walking away from an entire faith community - likely one that has not welcomed the questions that keep you up at night. it may involve losing a partner, family relationships, or friendships.
the cost of deconstruction is heavy. but the cost of staying where you are is probably heavier, and that’s why you’re here.
one of the most profound experiences in my own deconstruction was having deep listeners in my life. as I processed the pain and disillusionment of leaving the faith I had devoted my whole life to, the healing balm in all of that was the presence of those who just listened. they didn't try to convince or chide or bring me back to “the fold", they didn't question my questions. they listened to love me.
so, in the midst of the loss and isolation you might be experiencing right now, I want to offer you my deep listening. my heart and my ears and my eyes and my face - here for you. you don’t have to hold all of this alone - though it is undoubtedly one of the loneliest experiences you’ve endured. I’m here to listen.
you can schedule a free first video session with me, to see how it feels to talk together about the process of leaving your faith. rewoventherapy.com/scheduleonline
and now, some love notes…because sometimes it helps to catch a glimpse of light when everything feels dark. - if you don't feel like reading the love notes today, you can just stop here. it's okay to be wherever you're at.
to you - yes you, reading this and wondering what will happen if you "go down this road". there is life on the other side of deconstruction. good, satisfying, soulful life. it takes time, because grief takes time. and leaving a faith is a tremendous loss to grieve. and - you’re still you. you’re still here. and there is good, satisfying, soulful life to be had on the other side of all this.
to my husband - my sweet one, who sat with me on countless nights as I wept over leaving our once shared faith, our “foundation”. my steady one, who doesn’t need me to be anyone or anywhere that I’m not. to my best friend, my love, my favorite human - thank you. to evolve with you has freed my soul.
to my therapist - who listens deeply and helps me listen deeply to my own self. who helps me build trust with my body and mind and intuition - thank you. your presence has a more profound impact on my psyche than I could have ever imagined. this work is strange magic.
to my soul friends - the ones who love me for me. the ones who have offered safety, acceptance, and laughter in the wake of my stormy deconstruction. the ones who remain un-phased by my phases. thank you. you know who you are. I love you.
and to you, again. you will find yourself and your people on this journey of letting go.
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